Sunday, August 06, 2006

Hi everyone.. i think we shouldn't close this blog.. we'll just blog when we have the time and when we feel like blogging ok?.. hmm.. guess i actually had a lot to say for the past few weeks but just can't get myself to pen it all down..
today i just learnt that time is precious after i've learnt the news abt the death of one of my uni friend. he was my og friend from school, i'm not close to him but i still felt shocked and felt sad when i heard abt his death.. he died from a car accident.. after hearing it i just felt overwhelmed. i was asking God why is it so sudden? i also remembered that my grandma was taken away from us suddenly too... she just died suddenly while she was asleep... i just felt that life is so fragile... u never know when u're going to just leave this world. God is in control of all this, this i know but i just can't accept the fact that ppl have to go once God says u have to go. then what is going to happen once ppl leave this place? do you stay in hell eternally or in heaven? i always wonder where my grnadma is right now.. i really want her to be in heaven but i know i can't control anything. it just takes so much faith for me to believe that God has everything planned for us and everything he planned is for our benefit.

also i guess i have to let you all know abt nicholas and me. a few weeks back, he asked me if i want to get into a relationship with him, if i want i reply him, if i don't reply him, there'll be nothing more to us. my immediate reply was to ask him to give me time to think abt it..for the entire week after that i kept thinking abt things and i had the impulsion just to ask him 1 qn, does he love God? i wanted to just decide based on his reply to that question.i thought that if he said yes, i would agree to going into a relationship with him.. but as i thought more, i realised i don't know him well at all... how can i be so impulsive and just devote myself to someone i don't know very well? so i met up with him the next week and i wanted to talk to him, i wanted to ask him a lot of questions but in the end i didn't dare to ask anything. then on that day he told me that he felt that he was unreasonable to just ask me to get into a relationship then, so he said let things remain what it is. but i guess that was quite rubbish la, after that day things have become a stranger between us.. he doesn't really talk to me anymore and we only go out once when i asked him out. so after that day, i decided to leave it as that cos i just felt it's not time or we're not suitable for each other
i think i can't understand a lot of things... i'm beginning to feel confused, first is why God take away lives so suddenly, the second is i've already asked God to not any guy come near me if it's not the right guy... but why did God let Nicholas come into my life? i was thinking myabe i shouldn't blame him, it's my own doing , i am the one who let him come close to me... but all i want is for God to protect me, i don't want to waste my emotions, i don't want to always think that maybe things can work out but always come to a point till i realise maybe it's the wrong guy again.. ok this is all i have to say and i guess i've said a lot and sorry that this is not a very happy entry..

-diana
blogged @ 10:22 PM


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